1person really can make a difference!

Currently I am taking an online class called survey of dance. This class is quite fun and informational, and as a former dancer, I love it! For the class, I was required to go to I~MOVE, a dance performance put on by ISU's dance department. This performance is a taste of what ISU dance has to offer. There were 6 pieces which included ballet, interpretative dance, modern dance, and jazz. I thought Jozlyn would want to go with me. I thought she would enjoy sampling other kinds of dance and a night out with mom. Well, things took a bad turn. When I got home, I emailed my professor and the director of the dance department. Rather than explain everything, I'll just copy and paste what I wrote to both of them.

"Hello, I am a student in your online survey of dance class. Tonight I attended I~MOVE with my daughter who just turned 7 years old in January. I have to say I am extremely disappointed that children were allowed to watch. All of the information I saw about I~MOVE just stated what type of dances were involved and that children under 6 were not able to attend. No where did I see a rating until we were there and the program stated that I~MOVE was PG. The fact that there were tickets available for children seemed to me to encourage children over 6 to watch the program. My daughter dances classical ballet and I thought that she would enjoy seeing other types of dances performed by experienced dancers. I completely disagree with a PG rating. With some of the content involved, I~MOVE should have definitely have been rated at least PG-13. While we enjoyed the Grand Waltz, Landscaping for Privacy was a completely different story. I have been involved in dance and so I have seen interpretive dance and modern dance before. It was not the type of dance that bothered me. I thought some of the content was adult themed such as the ethnic girl scrubbing her skin to the Cheer commercial or the woman backing away from an abuse husband. This content was probably over my daughter's head but caused me no real concern. What bothered me was a section in Landscape for Privacy in which a female dancer, dances in front of the TV, kneels and crawls over to the male dancer, puts her hands on his legs, and bows her head over his "_______ area" for a few minutes. Then she gets up, looks at the audience, fixes her hair, and wipes her face. Uh, hello? Isn't this supposed to be interpreted as ____ ___? What about ____ ___ says, "All 6 and over come and watch?" Even if this isn't what the dance was choreographed to portray, it was still how it came across to the audience. I was also bothered by On a Vegas Night. The costumes were revealing and the dancing a little suggestive in parts. I would compare this dance to something on MTV. I would never let my 7 year old watch MTV either.

I understand that I~MOVE is a college organization and this implies that the choreography will be liberal, edgy, and modern. I completely agree that choreographers and dancers should have artistic freedom. I would not want to squelch anyone's desire to portray their thoughts and feelings through art. Just call it what it is. Don't give it a PG rating if it's not PG. If it had been rated as such, I still would have attended because of the class assignment, but I would not have taken my daughter. I would suggest that in the future, if dances contain mature content, put that information on the advertisements. For example, "Children 6 years and older can attend but be advised that some dances contain adult content." That would suffice.

I know that my daughter didn't completely understand the sexual undertones, but I know she felt that something was different. I am afraid that tomorrow I will have to talk to her and explain a few things. I was hoping that the ____ talk could wait a few more years as she just turned 7. What's even more upsetting is that dance, something that her and I both love and experience together, was something that took just a little more of her innocence away.

I have really enjoyed your class and will continue to enjoy it. This in no way reflects how I feel towards the class or yourself as the instructor. I just felt strongly enough to email you my thoughts. I sincerely hope that you will take my advice into consideration in the future and bring it up with the director. I plan on emailing the same email to Josephine Garibaldi, the Director of Dance. Thank you for understanding the concerns of a loving mother."

I changed some wording to blanks because I didn't want to offend anyone or give anyone cause to report my blog. I'm sure you can figure out what the blanks mean. Well, I received an email back from the director of dance who stated that she forwarded my message to the house manager. She said she appreciated my suggestion and was advising the house manager to put a sign outside the theatre entrance warning the show contained adult content. VICTORY! I guess 1 person can make a difference. I might further suggest that all such precautions be taken in future productions as well. If any of you wish to express any concerns or suggestions to the director, leave me a comment and I'll send you her email address.

Why Her???

I love my Haylie Jo. I absolutely love my Haylie Jo. I adore my Haylie Jo. Oh, did I tell you that I love my little Haylie Jo? So, why her? Why does she have to combat such pain at such a young age? What pain am I speaking of? The pain caused by being friendless and the occasional bully. It started last year, when she was in preschool. She would pick out the most adorable dress to wear, ask for her hair in pigtails, and skip merrily out of the car to the preschool door. This lasted a month. She soon began to say she didn't like preschool, then she didn't want to go to preschool, then she started faking sick. I talked to her teacher who told me that Haylie was just a little quieter than the rest of the kids (shocking, I know), and that she was content just to color while the other kids played. Finally, halfway through the year, Haylie told me what was going on. No one would play with her or let her play with them, that was why she was coloring all the time. Oh, it gets worse. Kids actually wouldn't even sit by her, the teacher would make some whining kid sit by her! She came home crying and told me that she would sit by someone, and they would get up and move to another chair. Now, she had a shower every morning and was potty trained (except the occasional accident), so she wasn't putting kids off physically at least. This happened everyday at preschool the whole year. I talked to the teacher and she told me that most of the kids in the class came from the same neighborhood (not ours) and were already friends before the year started. She assured me that it was just the group of kids, nothing likely to be repeated...

This year seemed to be off to a good start. She would come home babbling about so and so and tell me who she sat by at lunch. Soon, she was only talking about boys, then she wasn't talking about anyone at all. Then the birthday parties started. After a few parties, which she was not invited to, she got into the car one day after school and said, "(crying)Why doesn't anyone invite me to their birthday parties?" How does a mother respond to that? I am the librarian and room mother for her kindergarten class so I've gotten to know the kids quite well. All of them seem very nice and I haven't noticed Haylie doing anything to put them off. Only last week Haylie came home to tell me that _____ told ______ to tell Haylie that she didn't want to be Haylie's friend. WHAT THE HECK!!!!! What is going on?

Growing up, I was always surrounded by friends. I made friends easily and never had any "bullies". I never remember a time where I would have to search for a friend to play with, or when I got older, go shopping with. Josh made friends easily as well. My little Jozlyn is following in the same footsteps. As a baby, she would ignite the ooohhhs and aaawwws from everyone. She would smilingly reach to be held by anyone. As she got older, the adoration for her has only intensified. In preschool, she had to wear an eye-patch for a few months due to her eye problems. All the kids told her it was cool and one's girl mom told me that her daughter begged her dad to make her an eye patch to wear just like Jozzy's! In kindergarten, she was the sought after friend at our neighborhood school, then, she transferred to White Pine Charter School and 2 weeks later had at least 7 friends to invite over for her birthday. This year, she has a couple of close friends but is friends with virtually everyone. She sticks up for others, is kind to everyone, listens well, and is the kind of bubbly girly-girl that everyone loves. To boil it down, Jozlyn is a pleaser. She will do anything to make someone else happy and she is happiest when someone else is happy.

My Haylie Jo is the complete opposite of Jozlyn. She doesn't like to play with dolls or makeup. She could care less about ribbons in her hair or the oh so cute dress I picked out for her to wear. She does not try to please others, she tries to please herself. Not in a selfish way, in an "I'm original" kind of way. She's the type that would color a horse purple and when another kid would say, "Horses aren't purple. Why did you color it purple, that's wrong," Haylie would reply, "So what? I like purple. My horse can be purple." That's my Haylie Jo. She is definitely not a follower, a good thing in my eyes. She is also kind and wants fairness for everyone. So why her? I have often wondered if she is doing something to distance friends. I just can't figure it out. Why wouldn't everyone want to be friends with this beautiful, unique, spirited, loving girl of mine? I was hoping that the preschool thing was a fluke, but this year's experience so far has me wondering if this is going to be a long battle. One thing's for sure, both of my girls have a soft spot in their heart for the lonely already. They both understand what's it like to be lonely, Haylie from experience, Jozlyn from watching Haylie's experience. Words cannot express how much it hurts me to see my baby hurt. What's worse is that I can't patch it up with a bandaide and a kiss to make it all better. I have shed many tears already and I wonder how many more are to come.

A request to end this post...parents, please talk to your kids about how we treat others. I'm not saying that your kids (or mine) have to be best friends with everyone, but why can't they at least be nice? Teach them empathy, ask them how it would feel if they were in that kind of situation. Tell them a kind smile and a few minutes on the slide with a lonely soul does not cost them much, but will ease the heartache of a mother and that lonely soul all day long.

Jozlyn's 7th Birthday

I had to get these pictures on here before Valentine's Day! I'm always running behind. This year we had a very low-key birthday for Jozlyn. We had a double birthday party for Jozlyn and her friend Whitney (their birthdays are only 6 days apart). We went to the movies then out for ice cream. Later that night, we went out to dinner with my sister's family and my dad. Jozlyn's actual birthday fell on a Tuesday which is a busy day for us. After school and ballet, we ate dinner and opened presents at home. She wanted chicken malibu, mashed potatoes, corn, and rolls for dinner. A girl after my own heart! I made her a no-egg chocolate cake that we shared with Grandma Gay Lyn and Grandma & Grandpa Berry. She got lots of clothes, a journal, and a cookbook. I can't believe she is 7 already. Where does the time go?

Whitney, Kylie, Jozlyn, Abby, and Haylie Jo at the double birthday bash


Haylie giving Jozlyn a gift card to Claire's






Jozlyn told me, "Act like we're looking at the cookbook." What a bunch of dorks!

Things I'm grateful for

Today I have really felt the need to write down a few things I'm grateful for.

1 - Josh. He is the hardest worker I know. He is working so hard at school to ensure our family a comfortable living. He once told me, "I don't want to be a millionaire. I don't want a ton of material things. That's not what I'm going to school for. I just want to provide for my family and for us to be able to spend time together." Yesterday as I was getting into the bathtub he told me, "I think your butt looks smaller." Just a few of the reasons I married him!

2 - My sister. She is my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without her. She is the one who drags me to the gym, who cheers me on when I'm trying to diet, who I tell all my secrets too, who doesn't judge me for yelling at my girls, who calls me everyday just to chat (or answers when I call), who keeps me company when Josh is busy which is most of the time, etc....

3 - My friend Amberly. She called me and asked me to go with her to get some beads to make watches today. I think she is telepathic because I really needed some time with a friend. I think I yaked her ear off, probably due to lack of time with anyone besides myself. She also is the mother of Jozlyn best friend, Whitney. Whitney is such a sweetheart and an all around great girl.

4 - Men, in general. WHAT??? Weird I know. Due to the feelings and experiences I've had of late trying to find a job to support our family for a year, I have a whole new appreciation of men and what they go through to support us. And I only have to do it for 1 year, Josh will have to support us his whole life!

5 - Great teachers. Jozlyn has the best teacher. I don't think there is one thing I could complain about, and believe me, I try! I've found that no one is ever good enough for my little angels, but Ms. Prindle takes the cake! She is so organized and efficient. She is patient with the kids. She is caring and takes time to talk to me about any of my concerns. Haylie's teacher is great too. She's a great teacher to have for your first experience in school. She is very much the grandma type (although she probably only in her 50s). She is kind, funny in a sort-of forgetful way, and makes learning fun. She also knows how to discipline and she means business.

These are only a few of the things I'm grateful for. These things are the ones that stand out to me today.

Eclipse Movie Premier

My sister's friend's brother (yeah, I know) started a nonprofit charity that helps buy and deliver toys to children in need at Christmas time. For a fundraiser, they rented a theater at Edwards Theater on June 30th for the premiere of Eclipse, the 3rd movie in the Twilight Saga. The tickets are $20 but here's what you get. There is no waiting in line and seats are reserved so no showing up too early. Everyone's ticket will include popcorn, a drink, and a treat. There is also supposed to be goody bags for everyone. They are trying to get things donated for the bags and they are hoping for an eclipse tee-shirt to be included. I already reserved 2 tickets for myself and maybe Josh. If Josh doesn't go, I'll be selling it. Anywho, if anyone is interested in tickets, drop me a line ASAP and I'll try to get you some tickets! Yeah baby!

Smilebox

I found this cool website called Smilebox where you can create online scrapbooks to post, print, or burn DVDs. You can create and post for free with advertisements on the scrapbook. To print or burn DVDs, you have to pay a monthy fee of $6 or $40 per year and there are no advertisements. Just thought I'd try a few free ones to see if it's something I like. Drop a note to let me know if you liked it!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Better Late than Never

Josh has been begging me to update our blog but I have to get all the Christmas pictures on here first. I know that I'm way past being fashionably late, but whatever.