Owen doesn't sleep

This is the post where I go more into depth about Owen's sleep problems....and how I probably created them :(

Owen was the most darling baby boy I'd ever seen, and was a pretty good sleeper as a newborn. After the initial cluster feeding when he was a few days old, he would wake to eat every 3-4 hours on the dot. A few times he slept 5 hours which was complete bliss! Around 3 months old he started only waking once or twice at night to eat-not bad at all! Right around 4 months....growth spurt and back to waking every 3 hours UGH! So in my exhausted state, I brought him into bed with me. Why not(and this is where I digress about the girls).

Jozlyn was born premature and stayed in the hospital for just shy of a month. The only good thing about that whole experience (the hospital stuff-not Jozlyn. We love her :) was she came home on a schedule! AND she slept through the night at 8 weeks! Bliss.

Haylie Jo was a little harder. She had to nurse to fall asleep or have someone lay by her. BUT, Haylie Jo was and is a deep sleeper. Once she was asleep we could have a party and toss her around and she would remain fast asleep (though we didn't actually try that)! She slept with us without a single problem.

So, back to Owen. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if Owen slept with us. Haylie Jo did and it was almost ideal. So in he came. I got more rest and he started to wake once a night again. Perfect.....until 5 months. He started waking more and more often to nibble over the course of a month. He went from waking to eat once a night to 8 times a night over the course of a month. By the time he was 6 months old he was waking to eat 8-10 times and night and would cry loudly for 5 minutes each time before he would eat. Not to mention he had grown so used to sleeping next to me that he couldn't sleep without me! The only way he would sleep is if I hugged him as close to my body as he could get with both of my arms wrapped around him.

His sleep habits were affecting my whole family. Josh has a hard time sleeping anyway due to his back problems (another story, another day), so he was literally a zombie in the morning. Jozlyn, my light sleeper, would wake every time he did and actually became sick, due to lack of sleep. Haylie Jo remained unaffected although I don't know how. And me? Well, I basically could bite your head off at any moment.

So, that's when I started researching. I realized that Owen has a multilayer problem. The first, he has to nurse to sleep. The second, he can't sleep without me. Third, he was frequent night wakings and can't self soothe back to sleep. First and foremost, I put him on a schedule and created a solid bedtime and nap routine (which I had been already been loosely doing since he was born). Then, I quit nursing him to sleep. The Eat Sleep Play routine is kinda what we did. At night if he woke to nurse, I'd give him a pacifier. Did that for a week. Then I started putting him in his crib to sleep. Did that for a week. If he woke, in went the pacifier. So now, we are at the last problem - self soothing. If Owen was to learn to self soothe to sleep, the pacifier had to go. He was still waking 8-10 times a night for the pacifier. I knew that taking away the pacifier was going to take come crying. This is where we are now, crying it out.

What I hate most about this whole ordeal is that if I never wouldn't have brought Owen into bed with us, he probably wouldn't have created such bad sleep habits. IF I have another baby someday (that's a big IF), I will never bring them into bed with me. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies. I love the nights I could hold Owen close. I love the smell of his hair and his sweet little sleeping face. I sincerely wish Owen could sleep with me. But alas, Owen needs his sleep and so does the rest of my family.

Cry it Out-2nd Night

Yesterday I posted how hard the 1st night of crying it out with Owen was on facebook. Some ladies told me about a book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. I immediately downloaded the book on my Nook and read like a madwoman. I knew some of the basic stuff but I liked how the author used science to back up his claims. What I learned (that I sorta intrinsically knew) was the by going to soothe Owen every so often, I was reinforcing his crying behavior. Duh! I did study Behaviorism in college. What's wrong with me? Well, when it comes to parenting I forget all that professional stuff. I just want to soothe my crying baby! Anyway, I came to the knowledge that for Owen's sleep problems to improve, we needed to use the extinction method. The extinction method is where you ignore the behavior (crying) and eventually the behavior will stop. That means no going in to soothe or check up on Owen :( I asked Josh to check in on him every once in a while to make sure he didn't get a leg stuck between the slats in the crib or pull the blanket over his face.

Well, the night was definitely better. He softly cried for 10 minutes when falling asleep, woke an hour later and cried for 15 minutes. Woke 4 hours later and I fed him after which he cried for 5 minutes. Then he woke up 4 hours later and cried on and off for an hour. Finally slept another 90 minutes and then up for the day at 6:30. Not bad I'd say. Going from waking 8-10 times a night, 3 isn't bad at all! I want to get him down to getting up once a night for a feed. Nursing babies can't go 12 hours without eating in my opinion.

Nap time today has been a different story. He cried for the majority of his first nap time. He's laying down right and now and crying on and off although I KNOW he is tired.

I hate this whole thing. I HATE hearing my baby crying. AND I especially hate knowing that it's for me. All I'd have to do is pick him up and he would stop crying UGH! But I know the only way to get Owen sleeping better is to allow him to cry. I tried gentler methods for weeks and nothing else has worked.

Cry it Out-1st night

So, Owen is now 7 months old (!) and we are sleep training him......and it's awful. I've read 3 books on baby schedules and sleep and tried vast methods of getting him to sleep. Nothing has worked. At about 6 weeks old, Owen started waking up once a night to eat, not bad I'd say. Around 3 months he went through a growth spurt and started waking up every 3 hours again, UGH! I brought him in bed with me at night because I was too exhausted to get up that often. Well, at 5 months old he started waking up every hour for a nibble so to say and by 6 months he wouldn't sleep unless I was near him. That means I went to bed at 7 and he woke up at 5:30 with me and took 2 naps a day! Sound nice? It's not when you have two other children, a husband, and a house that needs taking care of.

So I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution. The basic premise? Don't nurse your baby to sleep. Check, I've stopped nursing Owen to sleep for 2 weeks. Um, he's still waking up 8-10 times a night...and crying loudly. So in goes the pacifier. He continues to wake up every 8-10 times a night for the pacifier. I read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer which tells me how to take care of a newborn...great...Oh, just pick your baby up and soothe him, and set him back down. Well, picking up a 20 lb determined 7 month old every time he cries? I tried and figured out I physically can't do it all night.

So, I ask myself, what's the big deal? Why can't he sleep with me and wake up 8-10 times a night. If's affecting my whole family. One wall separates our room from the girl's room and Owen is waking up the entire family every time he wakes up. Jozlyn had to stay home from school yesterday because she was so tired.

So, we are crying it out. Last night was the first night and I feel like I'm going to lose it. He cried for 3 1/2 hours before sleeping 2. Then cried for an hour, sleep for 2, then cried for an hour and we are up for the day at 4:30! I just can't help but feel like he's thinking I abandoned him. My darling baby boy who loves me so much he can't even sleep without me, and I'm just leaving him to feel helpless. Is that what I'm doing? Am I changing him? Will he forever be distrustful? Will our bond be the same? WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?